Since being on the road we have encountered many people. We have crossed paths with varied types of individuals. Some have blessed us, some cursed us, even folks have spat at us, even as far as to have had shots fired toward us. There have been those that have gentle souls, individuals that stuck out to us above the rest. Ones that we will remember for the rest of our lives. I try my best to model my actions like theirs since. Katherine and I wish for the day we can pay forward all the blessings people have bestowed upon us forward to others, as we try now to pass along what we can.
Not long before we came to the Pacific Northwest, we were stuck in a little town out in the edge of Colorado for a period just over a month. I say stuck, it was more like halted. You see, the night before my birthday in August of last year, we were driving along the interstate slowly as we were passing nightly road crew work. While coming past the construction site where a large machine was auguring a hole out in the ground, there was a loud bang and we took the next exit off the road to stop at the gas station. It was brightly lit and easy to see immediately something round and about the size of a golf ball had made a hole in our window and completely shattered the glass on the drivers rear window, next to our bed. We returned to the work site, flagged down a worker, informed them of the incident, was told we had to wait for the supervisor. So, we sat there for over two hours on the side of the road, waiting on someone to come address the issue. Finally, a young man showed up, gave us an 800 number to call. As we left and continued down the interstate after leaving the construction site, the window began to fall apart into the bed. It was already almost midnight and now we had a HUGE mess to clean. We spent the next several hours sweeping, vacuuming and picking out glass from our bed; affixed a tarp to the window, and tried to get some rest finally around four am. It felt so nice to be in bed after the entire debacle. At 7 am sharp a very loud and obnoxious pounding startled us awake! It was Walmart auto center demanding we leave since we’d been “camping overnight”. Actually, we’d only been parked a few short hours, but we had to move all our luggage to pack up after only a nap. We drove down to the next Walmart, luckily was only two miles away, but had to move the luggage all again from the bed to the front cab seats to sleep again. It was bright out, closer to the main part of the city, louder and harder to sleep, but we managed. The road construction office finally got back with me about getting an estimate, and they could issue a check for reimbursement or have it repaired. After weeks of searching, there wasn't any company that made replacement window units in the state. So, we decided to go with an auto glass repair shop, the initial shop we chose took the specifics of the window frame and hole, then wouldn’t return my calls or answer the road crew’s emails. The second company we tried, got the check, made a window, only to find out the window has a curvature and the glass pane wouldn’t work. Back to square one, no window replacement was going to work, except a specifically made tinted, tempered, curved glass. Which a tempering place would have to do and would be expensive, more expensive than the road crew company approved for the estimate. We already were behind our schedule by several weeks we decided to order the check instead and drove to Grand Junction to do work and wait on the check. Initially we were told one week. A month went by, we had cleaned two houses, passed out over a hundred business cards, placed two ads, cleaned up one back yard and advertised on craigslist. Grand Junction was beautiful. The people were pretty stay-to-themselves, except one, Brodie. I met Brodie at the laundry mat; I didn’t have enough quarters to finish our clothes. I asked him did he have any extra to spare so I could get it completely dry. He asked a few questions about our situation and I told him about the window and the check. Not sure if he initially believed me, but he did give me a twenty and wished us luck, I gave him a hand written business card “Inside and Out: Home Helpers Basic and Deep cleaning, organization, lawn care, moving cleans, vacation rentals and gardening.” It included our number, which at the time was just an internet text number I had to go to the Library to check a couple times a day. Brodie took the card and I thanked him again for the help. We finished our laundry and went on our way. Thinking, like most folks, we wouldn’t be hearing from him again. One afternoon a week or so later, I had a message saying it was Brodie, we had met at the laundry mat and he had some work for us. We graciously accepted and met him the next day. We cleaned his back yard and worked around his home for the next two days. In return, he not only paid us, but also changed our brakes and rotors (after working the night shift and not sleeping). He went above and beyond for us when he really didn't have to. His kids and ours had a blast together, he fed us all and conversed with us like old friends. It was nice, homey and such a change from what we had been used to experiencing, even in Grand Junction, the few short weeks we had been present. I say that, because one night, we were looking for a campsite out on BLM land (public dispersed camping) and we saw many other campers around. We were tired and eager to settle in for the night, it was a gorgeous night. The sky was clear, thousands of stars could be seen, dark mountains in the distance, the bright moon above the sky and the smell of campfires around from other campers. We were driving slowly on this new terrain, scouting an area to park our camper. We found a spot, started to unload our gear and move the luggage, when we noticed spotlighting. Growing up in the south, that’s no unusual thing on camping or hunting land, so we thought nothing of it. After climbing up on top of the camper to look out at the sky and enjoy the view, I noticed the spotlight shining on me. I thought it a mistake at first, but got down to continue setting up camp. I heard a strange “peew” sound and asked Katherine did she hear it, then I heard it again and saw the spotlight right on our van. It was gunshots! The spot-lighters were shooting at us, and not just twice, numerous times! We rushed around in a frenzy throwing all of our belongings carelessly into the back of the van to high-tail-it out of there and fast! The SUV appeared to be a light coloured Toyota 4-Runner. They were headed out in front of us; we tried to catch up but we couldn’t get a look at their tag. They left us and our camper in the dust; wondering why they shot at us in the first place! Grand Junction was a heck of a town. We met a man named Leroy there too, he was another person that helped us out greatly. He told me a story while having our gas tank filled to the top! He said, “I met a man once, he was carrying a briefcase and said he had been robbed and just needed money to catch a bus to X town to get to a relatives, if I could help him he’d be grateful. I gave him a ride, bought him a ticket and told him to pay it forward. Then about five years later, I was in another state on business, I saw this same man, with the same briefcase. I stopped to ask him how he had been and did he remember me. He infact didn’t remember me and told me he had been robbed and if he could just get to X town to be with relatives he’d be fine.” At the time, I didn’t realise why Leroy was telling me the story. I assured him we were good people, just waiting on this check so we could continue with our original plans to move to Washington. We wanted to leave before it started snowing and were waiting in Grand Junction. It didn’t dawn on me until much later he was telling me to always help, no matter what the story is, he gave the man a ride to the bus station, even the second time, but didn’t buy the ticket, only gave him $5 and said goodbye. Leroy told me it didn’t really matter what my story was, but that people were worth helping no matter what. It’s people like Leroy and Brodie that inspired us not to give up on ourselves. It’s those individuals setting the example for us that led our hearts through that time and enabled us to come a little further down the road.
0 Comments
It was a simple life. We had a nice home, a new neighbour friend, a new born, and had started over in Mississippi. We had planted a small tomato garden in our back patio, watched them grow, ate fried green tomatoes and sliced tomato sandwiches, even gave some to Angel, our neighbour. For Mother’s Day, Katherine brought home a gorgeous Hibiscus true form tree, with a braided trunk planted in a large pot with star flowers and purple sweet potato vines. It was beautiful and attracted a couple of lizard friends too! We loved our patio and spent many afternoons there with our plants, lizards and children. Katherine worked hard to provide us a home, since I wasn’t able to work. She worked as many hours as the company would allow, which was ten hours a day M-F and some Saturdays she would get approved to work as well. Each morning I would wake up, fix our breakfast and pack Katherine’s lunch. She would wake, shower and get ready for work. Jayden, Marie and I would load up in the car and we would see Katherine to work. Most mornings the children and I would visit the park at the Hattiesburg Zoo, where Jayden would run and play. Since, I was supposed to be on bed-rest as much as possible and just had a C-section with Marie, we just sat on the side lines and watched. After a couple hours and Jay expressed being tired, we would go home and all nap. After nap, I would clean, prepare supper, do laundry, rest more to recuperate from the activity and wait for Katherine’s text saying she was heading back to the green house. The kids and I would get Katherine from work. With Katherine not having a driver’s license, it was best I drove the car.
It was late September, our lives were changing so quickly. For days, we went to the McDonald’s down the road to charge our laptop and phones, since we hadn’t any power at the town-house. While there we would do research on places to go, cities with resources, which specific resources providing which services, in order to decide where to live next. Katherine spent many hours working online to keep us going while we figured out where to go. She filled out surveys, did click work, data entry and so on. Not that it provided much, twenty dollars here, thirty dollars there, but that’s gas and dollar menu items. I was going about our apartment finding everything of value, gathering it to sell. After a few hours of hunting, I sat down at the dining room table to empty the box and count the loot. All in all, I collected gold necklaces, rings, bracelets, books, Xbox controllers, games, cd’s, movies, and some random other small electronics such as a digital photo album, an alarm clock and a set of speakers. Only the jewellery and Xbox controllers sold. We took the games, cd’s and movies down to the pawn shop for a whopping dollar each. We thought of doing plasma donation, but unfortunately the center in our town had closed and there weren’t any in nearby towns. We settled on Denver. It seemed to be the best option. We saw many resources for the homeless. We saw long lists of shelters and public services. We also knew five people that were from our home town and we had been friends with growing up. We messaged them, gathered all our money, which was less than a month of rent and utilities, but we took what we had and left for Denver. I posted Craigslist ads for housekeeping and lawn care services so we could have work set up when arrived. Once we decided on Denver, it was time to pack enough for four people into a rather limited sized area of a dodge neon trunk and back seat. It was no easy task, and at around attempt four, we had everything we could manage to take with us, smashed together, with all doors and the trunk finally able to close. We gave our friend Angel our kitchen supplies and left many toys and clothes outside for donation. We sent our furniture to storage at Katherine’s fathers. The views on the trip were amazing. Travelling through numerous states, it took us two days to travel. We were both a bundle of emotions. Afraid of failure, excited about a new place and new opportunities, sad about leaving our home, but happy to have each other still. Our family of four, is all we had left. Katherine and I met when we were young. We grew up in small town, rural Mississippi; in a town where everyone knows each other on a first name basis. All anyone would have to do is mention mine or her father's name and immediately they would know to whom we belonged. Our parents weren't clued in on the beginning of our relationship. We would talk on the phone three-way with our mutual friends, play footsie under the dinner table when our families would meet and have dinner on Fridays. We would see each other out and about around town in social circles and really enjoyed each others company from the very start! Once, I was allowed to accompany her to her grandparent's in Indiana for the summer, well we got found out! Our mothers were summoned immediately! We were discovered and in big trouble! We were forced to separate. I was grounded for an entire year, no friends, no tv, no events, no phone calls, no anything... We were heartbroken. Eight months of loving one another and it was all ripped away.
Then one year we both ended up back in our home town after years of being away, we met on occasion to have lunch and catch up. Saw each other at mutual friends homes and around town would see one another out and immediately spend time together, but we were both in different relationships. That's how our oldest Jayden came to be. Well, by complete Serendipity we both moved to Austin, Texas within six months of one another. When I arrived, she helped me unpack the moving truck, helped me settle into my apartment. Just a week later, she called in the early am, needing a place to crash, her and her then partner, had a fight and she was scared. She joined me and my daughter, and we lived together a year, then our old flames were too much to bare. We made the decision to be together and never look back. We've had family to disown us for being together. We've had the most precious child added to our family since our union, Jocilyn "Marie". When we became pregnant with Marie, I was working full time at Austin State Hospital for the severe mentally ill. Katherine was working full time at a werehouse in town operating the fork lift and handling logistics. We had a nice townhome and was looking forward to a fresh start. Unfortunately, I was in a car accident, got put on bedrest and couldn't work after five months. We were quickly affected monitarily and moved back to Mississippi to live with Katherine's father until taxes came, and we could get a townhouse in Hattiesburg and her return to gardening and landscaping full time. It was six weeks, six very uneasy weeks with her mother ignoring us, her father barely having anything to say, tension could be felt all around. My favorite times, is when we had Katherines childhood home to ourselves. As the baby grew inside me and their arrival grew closer, not many felt happy for us. It seemed we were the only ones besides my friends that truly cared. No baby showers were had, no fun reveal parties were thrown, nothing. Not until the day they were born, at the hospital the people that came brought gifts in hand, but many didn't show.. Even those that came to Jayden's birth. I knew who really cared and who didn't, for it was plain to see. We had some drama here and there and family divided over the entire thing. So, here we were in Hattiesburg, a toddler and a newborn, one income. We were living pay check to pay check and still getting help from family to get by. Nine months passed in Hattiesburg, Marie saw five months in our home. In September, someone stole a significant amount of money from my wallet. That was our electric bill and rent. Katherine had recently come out at work as transgender. Things weren't going well for her, she had co-workers threatening her, the boss over looking it, the bosses father being harder on her since coming out and a general feeling of discrimination, minus two individuals on the crews. After spending nineteen days seeking help after our funds were taken, five local churches and three charities turned us down for assistance and allowed our family to become homeless. We had no one to turn to and left our home, facing eviction, no power for 6 days. We crammed as much as we could in our dodge neon, us and our two kids and hit the road for the west! We made Denver it two days and travelled Colorado cleaning homes and doing lawn work when physically able. We spent a year in Colorado and it was much too cold; we gained a camper van, improved our situation as much as possible and still trying. We've met some incredible people along the way, saw beautiful territory and have some interesting stories to share! |
Authors:James and Katherine are a transgender couple raising two kids. They were southerners when coming to understand themselves as trans. Ultimately it lead to a nearly three year road trip to find home. Now they are re-housed and still focused on outreach in the transgender community! Archives
October 2020
Categories |